Love Strike

Well...that title is sticking for me. Yep...I think I'm oficially on a love strike. Guess that's how it is... Seems I need to have time for aloneness. Like I needed any more! But there's a reason for it.

love strike

Oh will I never learn. I keep just going back for more and at times I wonder about myself. Someone so special to me is ..well, the situation is on the last page of a book that could be quite a good storyl...but i wish that it could end differently. But at the same time....it's ending well...as it could be i suppose. THis is someone who means the world to me and to be without.....well lets say that you know that saying....its better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. I just wish to God that it could have been complete.
For whatever reasons it isn't there are reasons why it could be....and that's what plagues me. Also the fact that I got too scared about some things and let it affect someone else more that I could imagine...and I feel like the awful-lest bitchy diva to someone who is the sweetest person I've ever known. He's stuck with me through a lot of stuff...and I suppose it's the last straw now...because it cant go both ways at once. Oh so Unfortunatly.
This is the reason why I think about jumping off a really high building and jumping on to beds of something really destructive ...to convey the point of how distraught I feel that I've not been able to hold up to my end of the bargain like i should.

What can I do but let go like he once let go of me. Willingly, trustingly....so that I was amazed and fell even more.

But things like this are meant to happen for a reason...but I do really sincerely wish that thre was an end to sadness or hurt or guilt or anger ....and all of that....broken hearts...hurt feelings....because it's just not right!