Something happened today. I'm not sure what. I'd like to think that a Big Guy upstairs was involved! I feel like me again. Like a zest for life has returned, and a positive me is there somewhere that I thought I had lost, or was at least in great danger of losing. Maybe it's something hormonal? Damn things. Maybe not. Maybe it just IS and I'm not going to go further than that, because I feel happy about it. Really.
I've been contemplating life a lot lately. Wondering how it is that I've come here, and how it's certainly not been anything like I thought, I'm not in a place where I thought I would be. That's been really disappointing and discouraging. Especially since I realize that all these things are a result of my own decisions. If only I could change some of them, and not have wasted my time and had these disappointments that hinge on fallible humans. I should never have put my eggs in that basket!
So somewhere along the way I've lost track of my goal of what makes me happy. The inspiration that led to the drive to get through university. The determination that got me through those 5 years. I've been a bit lost these last 2. Now, it's time to get back on that trip...and make my life go in a different direction. The rest will hopefully follow. No more time to waste feeling sorry for myself. I can choose to be down or up. I'd rather live an 'up' life, myself!
So I'm going to plan on it. And as they say, planning makes steps and goals visable and then hopefully reachable and doable. So there!
Just sayin.
